Random Stuff

I made Sam and Izzy their own Facebook pages. They are not private so you can check them out. Izzy is under Isabelle O'Laughlin and Sam is under Samoa O'Laughlin

I got a pink snuggie for Christmas and it's fucking awesome. I wore it on the train home, while walking around the train station and never take it off at home. If I could I would wear it around outside with my Ravenclaw scarf and have the perfect outfit.

I commented to Clint today that I live underground as if I were a common Fraggle. I then removed a loose brick from the wall to look for Fraggles. I did not find any but I am not without hope.

My car is an almost total loss after tonight. It's so expensive of a repair I am going to have to look into buying another car. This could not have happened at a worst time. Seriously. I may live in a major area and am a short walk from the Metra but it does not really go anywhere. Still, I may need to make this work. I don't want a car payment. I have too many other plans that I don't want derailed.

I miss my mom and brothers.

I finally started losing weight again. I am down 30lbs since September and 2 jeans sizes. This is a new pic I took on Thanksgiving






For some reason I have a fat face no matter how much weight I lose but it does get slightly less fat!

Christmas already?

I moved last week. I am tired and crabby. My apartment is empty except for a bed ( everything is in storage). I have a few small items of great importance with me but that's about it. Cable and internet are not coming until Wednesday. So, it's pretty boring around here. Yesterday my car died at the side of the road. I had it towed ( $98) and then had a diagnostic run ($107!!!) only to have him tell me that my gas gauge had stopped working and so I had not noticed I was low on gas so I ran out. He did point out that I seem to be hemorrhaging coolant. This is awesome news considering I spent $600 in August to have a new water pump and some other stuff put in. So maybe a new radiator is needed who knows. I had him dump in more coolant while I think about how I want to handle this.

We had Christmas this weekend. I took the train to St Louis. Actually I walked the 3 blocks to the metra (at 5am) and then waited at Union Station and then took the bus to St Louis. I had adventures along the way but totally lack the energy and desire to go over it. While I was riding on the train I was composing my blog post about it but just don't feel like it anymore. So, whatevs.


I keep forgetting that Christmas is this week. I did not decorate last year and I did not do it this year either. I am starting to wonder if I will ever see my ornaments or my ark again. When I was looking in my gmail account for an address I found emails I sent Christmas 06. I sounded really happy. I was baking a lot and was very excited to have Christmas with Brian and the babies. I think I kind of hate Christmas now. I'm sure it's going well for him so at least the holiday did not get ruined for both of us.

So, this brings me to my apartment. It's downtown ( Lockport) and kind of fun. The building is an office building constructed in 1830. When the I&M canal was built the building was raised up and this made all sorts of interesting features inside. The apartment is rather large at 900sf. The downside is the metra is right outside my door and that can get noisy. It terrified Izzy the first few nights and now she is fine with it. It never seemed to bother Sam in the slightest. I wonder if he is going deaf in his age.



front entry



The living room area. He has to leave up what was left of the original plaster since it was so old



The bedroom area. The exposed brick is going to make it hard to decorate. He had to rehab the building with out damaging any of the brick and plaster



My closet has a staircase to no where



bathroom



My kitchen

Life isn't so damn crappy afterall!

I enjoy the title of this post. It's an Eric Cartman quote when he finds out he can grow sea people. So, life is pretty good in Chicago-land. I love my job. I look forward to going in every day. I am still staying with Jen, she is trying to talk me into staying till Christmas but I am not sure if I will. I am also not sure what neighborhood I want to live in. I would love to go north and live in the city but unlike St Louis there are no Targets or markets in the city. I would have to go to the suburbs for everything. Plus, I hate driving in the city, but I did not move up here to live in some lame ass suburb.

I am working in Lemont, just a stones throw away from my old college friend Lee's office! He and I are having lunch next week. I can't wait to see my badger! My sad news of the week was receiving the probate papers from my dad's will. He did not leave me anything ( which is fine) but being dragged in to this is a stabbing reminder of his death ( which I am taking very hard). I am not sure what I am supposed to do with all the papers. I wrote a letter to my uncle and hopefully he will tell me there is nothing further I have to do. I guess I just had to be legally notified though because I am his daughter.

I also asked my uncle for a picture of my dad. I emailed my mom for one but she did not send it so I am hoping my uncle comes through. I am unsure what happens to my dad's cars and personal effects. I assume they would go to my brothers. I guess the money from his house would go to my brothers. It's all kind of a mess I don't want to be a part of.

Jen has been bugging me to start dating. I still don't feel like it. I would rather have you-know-who. That is not ever going to happen though. I am considering launching some sort of boyfriend search but I am really not in to it yet.


In case you have been living under a rock New Moon comes out tommorrow night!! Me, Jen, Dan, Cher and Danny are going tomorrow night. I am SO excited. We have been counting this down since July and it is pretty much going to make my week!

A day at the zoo/update

I have been remiss in posting. That always happens when I have a big life change going on. I have had multiple big life changes in the past year and am hoping for that to stop in the near future. So, work has taken me to a new city, the big city, the windy city, the third largest city in the country. I am diligently apartment hunting and I have to say that there are a lot more scary areas here than in St Louis. Also driving in the city here is a bitch. Seriously. I never cared about driving in St Louis city, it did not even seem like a big city. Driving in Chi sucks and parking is expensive. I grew up in a small town and never figured out how to use public transit so the thought of taking the el anywhere scares me. It's going ok though. I am staying with my old college friend Jennifer while I look for a place.

I have the back room/bathroom/garage to myself which has been a comfy arangement for me, Sam and Izzy. I often get a toddler visitor ( or 3) wandering back here to visit with " the pets" as they are called. Izzy is so patient with the kids, I am really surprised at how good she is with them. Sam will allow for about two seconds of petting before he escapes to his hiding place under the rocking chair.

It's been so awesome hanging out with Jen ( and her hubby!) again. She and I have so much fun together it's like being 19 again. We still insert the word " jub" or " jublies" randomly into conversations. I am anxiously awaiting the day one of the kids repeats it because I will laugh.

Ok, so today everyone had the day off work so we decided to take the three kids to the zoo. First off though I woke up to this:



Izzy cat being all snuggly in my gnome sheets.

So, we get to the zoo and see a beautiful carosel



I took this one just for my blog :)

We did not actually see a lot of animals, the zoo is huge and we spent a lot of time at play grounds and such but we did see this:



I am obsessed with animals tushies and toes and when they are in such a combo like this I am in love!

Jen and I were cracking up over this picture:



the guy that lived across from us in college was a herpetology major and we always called it "herpes-tologist" I took a pic of this so I could tag him on face book.

We then visited the rain forest where we saw an alligator and some turtles. Kaylee loved the turtles and called them " tuck" ( the name of the turtle on wonder pets) which I found amusing. Kaylee and Joey then whent on a boat ride



After seeing all the animals and playing on the play ground we came across this ape statue. Being the great role model that I am I climbed on his back and made Jen take my picture



This got Kaylee and Joey's interest so I dragged them up with me and we all posed



Kaylee and me!




Joey and me!

So, then it was 5 and they were shooing us off the grounds when we heard a very loud ROAR. The male lion! We scurried over there and on our way heard him roaring again. By the time we got there he was quiet though and just yawning. I held Kaylee up to see him and she informed me that he was tired.



This is Kaylee sitting next to me on the way home. We stopped at Wendy's for dinner and as Kaylee was eating her fries she kept touching my leg. After a few times I realized she was wiping her hands on my jeans. That is totally something I would do so I found it very funny. A good day all around :)

My father

My mom just emailed me to tell me that my father died last night. He would have been 64 in a few weeks. Most of you know the kind of non-relationship we had. The fact that we had no relationship does not make this any easier. I still lost a parent and it is incredibly painful. There will be no funeral or services and he has already been cremated. I don't know what the appropriate response is here other than to cry and I have that covered.

Unlike many absent fathers mine lived with me till I was 16. Having a parent leave you when you are that old is horrible and painful. I spent a lot of years hating him. I stopped hating him years ago and thought I had no feelings for him, until tonight.


He was selfish, thoughtless, lacked empathy and only cared about what he wanted. All things I hate in myself from time to time. He was not all bad though. From ages 9-13 he bought us season tickets to the local hockey team and we went to every game. He let me bury things in the foundation of the house he and my mom built, bought me a scooter so I could ride with Brian and Travis, rescued ( and insisted we keep) a dog that I was crazy about and bought me my beautiful Siamese.

When my mom would go out of town he let me drink pickle brine and camp out for days on end without bothering me. These are the things I chose to remember about him. I can let the other stuff go. It ceased to matter a long time ago.

While I have no family to help me get through this I do have Clint and Marlo. I just talked to Clint on the phone for about an hour and we have camping coming up this weekend. I may try to get down there a day early. I'll be fine.

One year

One year

I just looked at the calendar on my computer and cannot believe September is almost over. It's been a year since I moved out of our house in Bloomington.

The past year has dragged on. The first month was the hardest. I could not stand being alone. I would be on Marlo and Clint's couch almost every night because I hated being alone in my place. It took at least a month for me to stop going out to dinner with them every night. I dreaded the holidays coming up. Thanksgiving was going to suck and then a little ray of hope got thrown in and then quickly dashed. The day ended up being miserable. I thought Christmas would be better. Because I am Megan, I got this idea in my head that because Brian blew me off for Thanksgiving surly he would not let me down for Christmas. One Christmas eve day I woke up early, cleaned the house, colored my hair, and got dressed up. I even brushed Sam and Izzy. I then sat down on the couch and waited...and waited. I think it was probably 6pm before I figured out I would be spending Christmas alone. The only person I spoke to on Christmas was the guy at Panda Pavilion that made my lo-mein.

After that disaster I made an effort to go out more and try to have some fun. It was nice getting to do so many things with Mar and Clint. People kept assuring me that every day would get better. Uh, not so much. It's never really got better. I'm not any less in love with Brian than I was a year ago and going the entire past year with out my best friend has totally sucked.

I have not talked to him in months. He could be married now for all I know. You would think not talking to him would make things easier but it hasn't. Nothing has. I have not dated at all either. I just has no desire. The desire is very slowly coming back but when you would rather be with one person it's hard to get excited about being with someone else.

So, there is your one year update. Nothing has really changed. I am not even the slightest bit over him. When I was complaining to a male friend saying I was pathetic to still be pining away for someone who has no interest in me he agreed with me but then told me it would at least take two years. So, I guess check in with me next October

Clint quote

Clint had another good one last night. I wanted to discuss mail order brides with him. We did but our conversation began as such:

Megan: Ok, so I have an idea.

Clint: words that send chills down my spine